Wedding with Family Issues

Q: My parents are separated and I am not very close to my father. How do I tell him that I don't want to walk down the aisle with him and not cause World War III in the family? Also, how do I seat them at the church?

A: Your situation certainly sounds frustrating, but I hope you find comfort in the fact that this seems to be a very common problem with most families these days! You're not alone! First off, with regards to walking down the aisle with your father, the best thing for you to do would be to tell him that you're trying to stray from a very traditional wedding, and you feel that on this special day, you would prefer to walk down the aisle with someone else. Really emphasize the fact that it would mean so much for you to be able to just get through this stressful time with his support, and tell him that you trust that he is willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy, and this would be the thing! Be really polite and sensitive about it, and if you're going to have another man walk you down the aisle, I would suggest that you break this news to him very gently and explain your reasons carefully. If you're honest and sensitive and you make him feel special and important in spite of all of this other stuff, then maybe it won't be so bad to him. Also, if you can think of any other way you can incorporate your father into your wedding day, it would be great of you to do so. Maybe you can ask him to make the first speech, or you can ask his advice on the menu, etc Do something else to involve him so that he realizes that he is still somehow an important figure in your wedding day. You may not have the best relationship with him , but I guarantee you that your wedding day is a moment that he's been thinking about for a very long time. Don't shut him out completely, just try to find another way to make him feel useful and wanted.

With regards to the seating arrangements at the church, I would have him sit in the front row, along with your mother, but on separate ends of the row. You don't want to seat one parent behind the other, because when you put one of them behind the other, it's kind of like a slap in the face. Ensure they both get a "front seat" but keep them on separate ends .... the further away they are the better.