Bridesmaid Dilemmas

Q: My maid of honour wants to wear black for her dress. I don`t want black to be my wedding colours, but she thinks because she is buying her own dress that she gets to choose the style and colour of dress. She has already tried to give me a guilt trip in regards to this situation. How can I handle this without hurting her or losing her as my maid of honour?

A: My goodness, I can only imagine how difficult this situation must be for you. I`m with you on this one....your maid of honour, although purchasing her own dress, must follow your guidelines. After all, you are the bride and things should really be done your way. In my opinion, you should be telling her which colour(s) her dress may be, along with some other dress restrictions. It`s completely up to you to decide whether or not you`re comfortable with her purchasing a dress that has a slit, that shows cleavage, etc. You have the ultimate control here and it`s in your hands to decide what is appropriate and what is not. For example, you may not want a dress that is cut above the knee, so this must be communicated to your maid of honour and she must comply with these terms. You`re not being unreasonable, just realistic. This is your wedding day and it doesn`t seem fair that you would have to look back at all your wedding pictures and feel badly about the fact that her dress was black. Your day, your way! You need to let your maid of honour know that you have certain restrictions about the colour and design of the dress. Tell her that she`s welcome to shop on her own and locate a few dresses that she likes, but you might want to insist that you go with her to see them all and make the final decision. This is a very fair arrangement. To be honest with you, if she gives you a hard time about this after you chat with her, you may want to think about whether or not she`s worthy to be your maid of honour. However, I`m sure that with some time and some talking, she will come to understand that this is your wedding and she is your maid of honour....I`m sure she`ll work with you to select a suitable dress for your special day.