Taking a Few Musical Steps to Avoid the Bridal Blues
By Shine Band

As if there aren't already enough choices involved in planning a wedding reception, you might want to be aware of some considerations concerning the ever-important ingredient of music. After working out of Boston as a bandleader at over a thousand weddings since 1981 with my band, Shine, I'd love to write a screenplay about some of the more "unusual" things I've encountered. Yet before that attempt is made, I thought it might be a better use of time to make a few useful suggestions to those searching for music.

DJ or Band? If a reception site has been chosen anywhere near Boston you are already one step ahead. This area is one of the top musical havens in the world and attracts extremely proficient musicians! The Boston bands clearly have the most talent and usually travel a fair distance. A disc jockey is less expensive, able to play selections by original artist, generally does not take up much space and travels just as far. However, people who make a living studying, writing, singing, recording and performing music are more apt to have a better foundation of music presentation. Generally, disc jockeys do not have musical backgrounds and aren't familiar with certain styles of music - especially swing (e.g., material beyond Kenny G and Glen Miller) and ethnic styles.

Selecting a band can be a frustrating and very time consuming process - just ask some of your married friends. It is possible that hiring intangibles such as musical dedication, wedding experience and notes floating around in the air is something you haven’t done fifty times before. Lucky for you everyone you know has now become a music critic and has been asked to judge the Grammy Awards in Hollywood. You can’t afford to make a bad decision, your in-laws don't like the kinds of music as you and your partner do, you live several states away from your Massachusetts wedding site, you've picked an extremely popular date, have a limited budget and the bridal blues are getting louder...

Hey, relax. Here are some things to keep in mind:

In making the right choice, consider only bands that have a considerable history of performing at weddings and other parties. Avoid bands just starting out, made up of music students or led by a contractor who hires different players for different "gigs". If you don't, chances are by the time your date rolls around, the people in your band haven't even met each other before. You need a rehearsed group who can accommodate the vast number of unplanned details that appear at every wedding. Pulling off an impromptu song request that has a significant meaning to a relative, dealing with unpredictable catering and scheduling situations, demonstrating reliability before the date and just knowing how to work with different wedding professionals - can be taken care of much better by an experienced band.

Viewing a band at another event doesn't always tell the story. Most folks want to see a band in action before they send in a deposit. Sounds reasonable, yet it is increasingly difficult for a number of reasons. A great number of function directors and security personnel at many different facilities during the past several years have been turning away "outsiders". Unfortunately, the events of September 11 have only decreased the chances of checking out a band at someone else's wedding. Couples are getting the boot even after they have dressed nicely, driven a fair distance and unobtrusively arrived toward the latter part of a wedding or party to view a potential band. Even in the event of successfully gaining entrance, it is very common for said couple to witness a cake cutting ceremony, parent dance, the first live performance of the bride's younger sister, a half hour speech by a company CEO, an award ceremony, or a half-filled dance floor generated by a CD from the band on break after playing a full-fledged dance set. Has the band played your favorite song yet? Ready to hire?

Seriously, though, it is rare to catch a band performing at just the right date, time and location - then to have a fair performing and viewing situation. Many times, after putting forth considerable effort, people have to anxiously listen from a difficult vantage point and don’t realize that the music "doesn’t sound right" because they are stationed behind the band or in a different room, away from the actual path of the music. Watching potential clients evaluate entertainment when you are powerless to give them what they came for is even more uncomfortable for the entertainer. It is essential, no matter how awkward it might seem, for the band or DJ to focus on the present job, even though they might well lose a future one due to uncontrollable circumstances.

A large majority of live bands who specialize in weddings don't play publicly in nightclubs very often because of the scarcity of places that hire five or six piece bands that can offer a wide range of material. Mostly available are DJs and duos who play along with pre-recorded tracks can fit within a club’s economic restraints. Also, the material a band might play at a nightclub may also be totally different than the music they'd play at a wedding. "Sounds great, now we'd like to bring the family to see you at a wedding next month", is usually heard as you pack up. So how can one really get an idea of what a band can do? Listen carefully to a to a band demo or CD, pay attention to their song list and talk to people.

Videos can sometimes be helpful, but you should know that 99% of them are lip-synched and are seldom a true representation. People also tend to hear with their eyes and not focus on the music. After the fifth video the eyes can get a bit blurred from all those tuxedos... A very basic band video costs about $5,000 to produce and can quickly become outdated depending on its content of current music selections. With a CD you can really hear the care that a band puts into their product. You can listen to it in many different situations and if it’s any good, you should hear a wide range of material. If a demo has a great variety of songs sung well by different people and features decent horn playing, guitar work and strong background vocals you are headed in the right direction. Having an excellent song list is also a good indicator that can help in the selection process.

If you find a band that you think is the one for you, and have a Saturday evening reception or a popular wedding date, don't put off hiring them. There is a very high likelihood that others are enquiring about the same date, unless your wedding falls between January and the end of March. Bands generally can't "hold" these dates due to the high number of Saturday calls they get. It is very normal to book a band with a good name from a promotional package instead of risking waiting for the perfect opportunity to see them live. Lots of bands have a higher price for Saturday nights as opposed to other times as well.

Keep your ears open for what people say about good bands they've heard. Popular bands with solid reputations that have been a long time are popular for a reason. Get a phone number and speak to the bandleader directly to get a sense of what is offered. Bandleaders who return calls well, send good material on time, and give helpful advice also show that they can be instrumental in helping reduce unavoidable stress just prior to and during a reception. They can also give a very qualified referral and phone numbers for other similar bands if they are already booked on your date.

After the entertainment has been lined up and you are setting up the actual format for the reception, try not to over plan. It is very helpful to indicate the preferred musical styles, but don't try to choose every song for the band or DJ to play. Utilize their experience in reading a diverse crowd. Also, try to limit the "special dances and announcements" to the most important ones and have them grouped together whenever possible. Interrupting the flow of a wedding reception by consistently stopping andgetting everyone’s attention can really stunt the event’s momentum.

On the other hand, if you are having a "non traditional" type of reception with little or no announcements, be sure to have a simple, written game plan that the entertainers, caterer and function coordinator can refer to. This way people won't be frequently tapping you on the shoulder and asking what you want to do.

Finally, after all the planning, try not to worry about which small detail could go wrong . It's done, let it unfold on its own! Let your vendors handle the behind-the-scenes stress, that's partly what you are paying for to begin with. Have fun, as you never know what'll happen that you won't be able to change - like Hurricane Gloria on September 27, 1985—my own wedding date!

Shine Band