Music for Your Wedding Reception
by Matt Pines- The Matt Pines Band

The most important choice in planning a wedding (other than your choice of a partner, which is no small matter) is your selection of music. Music makes or breaks your party far more than flowers, frocks or food.

For a gathering of over a hundred guests, a live dance orchestra is the prime choice. It makes your party colourful and entertaining, and is in keeping with the splendid and elegant dining environment you have created. Nothing else thrills your guests like the passion and talent of live performers.

Your best bet is to have soft jazz playing during cocktail hour. Typically, this is held in the foyer outside the main dining room, and most banquet halls and hotels will have a grand piano on hand. Add saxophone, bass and maybe soft drums, and you have a nifty combo to set a sophisticated and festive mood. If budget or space is a concern, simply have a competent solo pianist entertain.

When the guests enter the dining room, the band or DJ should be playing a lively and welcoming number as the doors open. Typically your M.C. will ask everyone to be seated, thank them for coming, introduce the head table, and then introduce you- the bride and groom. As the two of you make your grand entrance, a robust song is played - TV theme, disco, swing, R & B, a showtune - anything to suggest celebration. Some couples elect to do their "opening dance" right then and there.

While the courses are served, which typically takes and hour and a half, it is best to have lots of dance and listening music, but not too loud. Frank Sinatra, Glen Miller, show tunes, nostalgia, watzes-tangos-and-polkas (if the crowd is European), and a few love songs from the contemporary pop scene are all suitable. The idea is to gently entertain everyone while they eat, and also provide great dance opportunities during the 10-minute stretches between courses. Any self-respecting bandleader or DJ knows to watch the kitchen doors to see when the next course is coming out, and to back away from dance music as soon as soup or salad appear on the trays. Often, the caterer coordinates with the bandleader, and cues him/her as to when the next course is coming.

If you don't wish dancing during dinner, your best bet is to have a solo pianist or jazz trio play softly until speeches. In that case, your guests should be invited to make requests during the meal. If a guest table stands up to sing a song, the musicians should either stop, or else accompany the singers on the spot.

The traditional model is to have all speeches after dinner, but increasingly, couples are having some speeches delivered between appetizers , so that after dinner there is more time for partying. After all the speeches, the cake is typically cut, and then the bride and groom move to the dance floor.

The bridal dance will be a love song: be careful to select one whose words are appropriate to celebrating a marriage. Songs such as "Crazy" and "Feelings" (to cite a couple of time-worn oldies) are lovely, but are all about love-gone-wrong, and are not best for the moment.

If there is to be a father-daughter dance, it should follow immediately after the bridal dance. Should the family wish to have a mother-son dance as well it is best not to do a separate song for this. Rather, have the mother-son team step onto the dance floor a minute or so after the father-daughter team starts. Two minutes into the song, there's nothing wrong with inviting all the guests to join in, provided mom and pop don't object. Naturally, your bandleader or DJ will be happy to make the necessary announcements, and to help you choose the right songs.

Once the bridal dance (and optional father-daughter dance) are over, your party should move into a lengthy and energetic party set - no less than an hour. Big band swing, disco, R&B, rock 'n roll, top 40, and whatever else will heat up your dance floor. If there is an "ethnic" group among the guests, lively music from their culture should be interspersed with the popular American dance numbers.

Don't permit cafeteria-style lighting at your wedding reception! If your guests are a little reluctant to dance, the lights should be turned down low, and your bandleader or DJ should play a couple of well-known love songs to get folks warmed up. Slow romantic songs like "Moon River", "Unchained Melody", and "What a Wonderful World" never fail to pull shy couples out of their chairs.

Coffee and Dessert signals many couples to go home, and causes others to fall back into their seats from too much sugar. Avoid serving the sweet table too early in the night. Speeches almost always last longer than you planned. Since the opening dance may not actually happen until 9:45, a 10 o'clock sweet table shortens that first crucial party set to 15 minutes. Not good. Aim to have the sweet table served at 10:45 PM or later. This lengthens and strengthens your party.

After the sweet table, there should be time for one or two long and strong dance sets. As the night proceeds, and the older folks head for home, dance music will be less sentimental and international, and more American and punchy. Disco medleys, R & B medleys, big-band medleys and the like will keep your late evening dance floor hopping. Many crowds today will also respond to salsa and merengue. Naturally your bandleader or DJ will tailor the music to suit your preferences. Perhaps you want "house" music all night; maybe you want blues and R&B; or you might prefer Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole. It's your party, and you know what will turn on your friends.

About a half hour before the party is going to close down, you may want to have the (optional) throwing of bouquet and (optional) removal and throwing of garter. Your bandleader or DJ will know just what to say and play to make those moments totally fun.

At the end of the evening, be sure to have a closing love song. The most important people in your lives will have travelled from all over to be together, probably for the very last time in that configuration, to celebrate your union. As this unique occasion draws to a close, your friends will want to join hands, form a circle around you and watch the two of you dance one last number. Choose the sweetest love song you know, and have your band or DJ play it for you.

One more point. No matter how many crucial details you have debated about, planned, and put into place for the perfect party - on the day you get married - throw away the planning papers! Forget the fine details. Promise each other you'll just roll with all the surprises and delays - and just have a ton of fun that day.

Congratulations on your engagement.