Involving Children In the Wedding Ceremony
by Rev. Dr. McKibbon - All Seasons Wedding Ceremonies

THE NUMBER ONE SUGGESTION IS TO MENTION THE CHILDREN DURING THE CEREMONY AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN
It is much more important for children to hear their names mentioned during the ceremony than it is for them to play any major part in the event. (There will be exceptions to this, so clear it ahead of time with the shy ones. If a prayer part of the ceremony, each child's name can be stated in the prayer.

BE CAREFUL WITH THE EXCESSIVE INVOLVEMENT OF CHILDREN IN THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY
Surprise! Once in a while children will not share your sense of excitement about the wedding. With teenagers, some care should be taken not to give them roles they may feel silly doing. For younger children, the relatively easy task of holding the rings or bouquet is usually enough to accomplish a sense of participation.

Typically, couples may give children a gift right after they exchange their own rings and vows - usually a necklace, medallion or ring - along with a hug and an "I love you."
Use the family unity candle. As we all know, children are fascinated with candles, and involving them in the lighting of one is an excellent way to include them in the ceremony.
Generally speaking, flower girls and ring bearers are between three and seven years of age throughout what will appear to him or her to be a relatively long time, then he or she is old enough. It really depends on the personality of the child.

Older children eager to participate in the wedding ceremony can be bridesmaids and ushers, as well as honour attendants (the new unisex term for the maid of honour and best man). The roles they can play are no longer limited. An eleven-year-old son can be a best man. A nine-year-old girl can be a maid of honour. A bride's son can be her "honour attendant," just as a groom's daughter can be his. A bride's son, daughter or both can escort her up the aisle and "give her away."

MY ABSOLUTE ALL-TIME FAVOURITE!
Allow your children to come up and sign part of the official documents at the signing of the register. (Yes, you need two adult witnesses to make the licence legal). In my experience, children love this above all other parts of the ceremony, and so does everyone else. Have the cameras and tissue ready!

When your officiant introduces you, have your children up there with you. They will love the applause and treasure the memory of how important they were on Mom or Dad's big day.

Good luck on your special day.