Small Wedding

Q: My fiancé and I are planning a December wedding. I'm just wondering if it is proper to hold a small wedding for the immediate family only and then plan a large reception for later the same day? We want a private ceremony with about 40 people, but our reception will include around 130 people. Would this arrangement of announcing our wedding, but only inviting people to the reception, be socially right? If so how would we word the invitations?

A: Yes, this is quite acceptable and this scenario is frequently seen. It is not uncommon for a couple to hold an intimate wedding ceremony with an open-party afterwards which includes other friends and more distant relatives. I think it's great to be surrounded by those who are close to you for such a memorable ceremony and I can appreciate your decision. It is perfectly acceptable to conduct your wedding this way and is definitely socially acceptable. With regards to the wording on your invitations, you can indicate something along the following lines:

"______ and ______ will exchange their vows during a private ceremony and would love to invite you to join in the celebration of their love by attending the reception which takes place at _______________ on _____, 200_"

This is a rough idea/sample of how you may indicate the distinction between the private ceremony and the larger reception.