Choosing Bridesmaids

Q: How do you let someone down lightly when they are assuming they are one of your bridesmaids?

A: This is a great question and I can appreciate how stressful and difficult this situation must be for you. I would suggest that you begin by keeping in mind that everything you say and do must be done gently to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. That said, you really need to chat with the person that is assuming they're going to be part of your bridal party. Bring up the wedding in general conversation and then drop some hints about how you have yet to make any decisions regarding the bridal party members, etc. Mention to this individual that you feel very torn and that there is so much weighing on you. Make sure it is clear that you have certain "obligations" to other people and let this person know that you love and care for them very much and it would tear you apart if they took this situation the wrong way. Be honest, but be gentle. You may want to consider treating this person in an "extra-special" way for the next few months to make sure their feelings aren't too injured and to prove to them that you value your friendship, despite the fact that they were not selected to be a part of your bridal party. Make sure you have this meeting face to face...it's just not the same over the phone.